Goodbye, My Twenties
"Kenneth, do you have a minute?/And I say yes! I am in my twenties!/ I have plenty of time! In you I marry,/ In you I first go to France; I make my best friends/ in you and a few enemies. I/ write a lot and am living all the time/and thinking about living."-- from Kenneth Koch's "To My Twenties" from his book of odes, "New Addresses."
Things I Loved About My Twenties: the way you begin your twenties while in college, surrounded by friends who are grappling for their identity along with you/ you don't have the foolish adolescent illusion that you are immortal but you have the resilience to take some lumps/ I loved how I felt like a physically-able birthing woman/ the glamour of substance abuse subsides and you can really learn how to appreciate food and wine/ living in Boston with Geoff-- so much promise, figuring out the life we wanted together/ having our first babies and being spry enough to play with them/ the flexibility to NOT go the grad school route and really get content about being home with my babies/ watching Geoff find his vocation--humbling and difficult at times/ getting a vision for our family-- let's buy groceries this way, let's try and save to travel that way.
Things I Look Forward To About My Thirties: NOT being tortured by questions of status or identity-- Do people GET me? Am I good enough? / Having some metabolic stasis/ putting roots down in Philly/ finally feeling like peers with my sibs/ making decisions with Geoff and making clear boundaries with our parents/ getting down and dirty with my kids-- making an Eden out of the backyard, stretching them athletically/ rolling up my sleeves and having fun paint stripper-- when you are not baking a fetus the world of household toxins opens up to you!/ Once I was mortified when a nursery school mom said, "I'm just not looking for any new friends" as her reason for not attending a potluck. Now I totally get this. I look forward to the freedom to not have to babysit my friendships but this seasoned and stable trust that we are present for eachother when needed. And in between, we are easy and honest.
Things I Loved About My Twenties: the way you begin your twenties while in college, surrounded by friends who are grappling for their identity along with you/ you don't have the foolish adolescent illusion that you are immortal but you have the resilience to take some lumps/ I loved how I felt like a physically-able birthing woman/ the glamour of substance abuse subsides and you can really learn how to appreciate food and wine/ living in Boston with Geoff-- so much promise, figuring out the life we wanted together/ having our first babies and being spry enough to play with them/ the flexibility to NOT go the grad school route and really get content about being home with my babies/ watching Geoff find his vocation--humbling and difficult at times/ getting a vision for our family-- let's buy groceries this way, let's try and save to travel that way.
Things I Look Forward To About My Thirties: NOT being tortured by questions of status or identity-- Do people GET me? Am I good enough? / Having some metabolic stasis/ putting roots down in Philly/ finally feeling like peers with my sibs/ making decisions with Geoff and making clear boundaries with our parents/ getting down and dirty with my kids-- making an Eden out of the backyard, stretching them athletically/ rolling up my sleeves and having fun paint stripper-- when you are not baking a fetus the world of household toxins opens up to you!/ Once I was mortified when a nursery school mom said, "I'm just not looking for any new friends" as her reason for not attending a potluck. Now I totally get this. I look forward to the freedom to not have to babysit my friendships but this seasoned and stable trust that we are present for eachother when needed. And in between, we are easy and honest.
posted by Maria at
11:09 PM
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