Pause for Priority-Check

"Francis sought occasion to love God in everything. In everything beautiful, he saw him who is beauty itself."--St. Bonaventure

"Jesus said not: thou shalt not be troubled, thou shalt not be tempted, thou shalt not be distressed. But he said: thou shalt not be overcome."--Julian of Norwich

Trying to live Godwardly these days. Trying to walk in the midst of the mystery around when this baby will be born. It is my tendency to flail and fuss about the way things AREN'T rather than trying to find a little quiet drumbeat of contentment and peace.

I saw the midwife today and she told me that my BP is up a little for my norm. She says this is good, this is normal for women about to give birth. In some ways, I chalk it up to negative-family-of-origin-juju. But when will I realize that our crazy families are who they are and just do as my friend says, "shrug your shoulders and just say 'That's just how they are' with a tricky balance of humor, detachment and love? Thinking about matters like this get me all twitchy and I want to do as Manny does, go up to the invention desk and make a "car-drill" or a "scaring-poker," one of his revenge-inventions. Anger expressing itself through tinker toys.

A wise and balanced friend emailed me the other day and encouraged me, "Let me be patient for you now. You don't have to force yourself to be patient because you are doing the work of getting ready." And she spent the afternoon feeding us soup and allowing my kids to trash her play room. I love when Jesus wears my friends' clothes like this. It is just the kind of thing that helps the day pass when I am full of self-pity because my tummy touches the steering wheel and my clever-layering techniques are being all used up and I leave the house looking like a bag-lady: dress over turtleneck, jeans over tights, tights over jeans. Benici asked, "Mom, do you need a snowsuit?"

P.S. I'm still only 39 weeks, not at all late yet. Also, in case you were on the edge of your seat, I am 2cms dilated and 30% effaced. But my old roomie in the Burgh has been walking around 4cms for weeks now.

P.P.S. These photos are from the summer: Lowell Folk Festival and Clara and Geoff during his SIGGRAPH Convention in Emma's Pizza, which was NOT air-conditioned.