Forging Ahead in Fits and Starts

When Calliope was first born, I felt this release--we have the rest of life ahead of us! The last time I felt this way was after our wedding-- one chapter closed, a new bold kickass one begins. We've had our babies, now let's get down and dirty with the development-- spiritual formation, discovering literacy, long hours drawing on our tummies on the floor, social consciousness. Yes, I have these glimpses of a vision for the shape our family will take or a new direction to move as a parent, and then the inevitable--I lose my train of thought. I don't mean derailed and then quickly recovered, I mean the entire thought is vanished, gone.

A good friend confirmed this for me last night, this memory loss does not indicate a brain tumor. It is the side-effect of nursing our babies. The combination of the hormones prolactin and oxytocin act as memory erasers. You forget the stress and pain of childbirth, but then you forget your own cell phone number too. Folks ask how I am doing--I answer that I feel like I'm getting back the helm of my ship, finding the family rhythm little more. My dear friend brought me an Americano coffee this morning. I sipped it and made this juicy list about homeschooling. Calliope was in the swing and Clara was playing with her dinos. I was in this state of hands-free euphoria. Fifteen minues later, I'm nursing the girls on the couch and I cannot seem to form a sentence.