Prescription Playdates
The play dates are working. A few weeks ago, we had a five year-old on our hands who was sullen, moody and dreading his friends at school. Is it about the new sibling? Is it because he has been here for three years now? Is it his diet? Is it his rest? I was a pinball bouncing between these questions. I observed that when he is at home, he is my right-hand man, "Manny, please make sure Clara doesn't leave the porch. Manny, would you hold this bag of produce while I unlock the door. Manny, will you tell Benicio to unhand his sister?" I have all these expectations that he be a leader, a lot of responsibility for someone all of 40lbs.
While at school, he was unable to break from his role at home into being a peer among peers, a five-year old with simple cares like shoe-lace tying and rhyme-pairs for "Down by the Bay." So at school, he became a bit of a menace-- barking at kids for not sitting boy/girl and even hit his good friend. He took on the role of monitor and really lost his footing when it came to free play. So his teacher recommended we set up play dates with kids who were second born, less moody so he could be a "kid in a kid's world." She named two kids and we have had four dates so far. I was skeptical, I like my family cinched tightly around me. I pray the prayer, "Hem them in, behind and before." constantly.
But I saw a fruit today. His teacher was right. I can't tell you how deeply satisfying it was to see Manny take a friend's hand so naturally and have them not just laugh at his jokes but augment them. Or to hear him say, "You stir this until your arm hurts and then it will be my turn." I picked him up at his friend's house and he showed me his sun-print. I could see that he had been lost in play.
As we get ready for homeschooling, I can see that I will be unable to go it alone. That he will need his friends. That Geoff and I will need other adults who know him and whose hearts break for him when he struggles and who jump to their feet when he succeeds. Let this be a lesson to me.
While at school, he was unable to break from his role at home into being a peer among peers, a five-year old with simple cares like shoe-lace tying and rhyme-pairs for "Down by the Bay." So at school, he became a bit of a menace-- barking at kids for not sitting boy/girl and even hit his good friend. He took on the role of monitor and really lost his footing when it came to free play. So his teacher recommended we set up play dates with kids who were second born, less moody so he could be a "kid in a kid's world." She named two kids and we have had four dates so far. I was skeptical, I like my family cinched tightly around me. I pray the prayer, "Hem them in, behind and before." constantly.
But I saw a fruit today. His teacher was right. I can't tell you how deeply satisfying it was to see Manny take a friend's hand so naturally and have them not just laugh at his jokes but augment them. Or to hear him say, "You stir this until your arm hurts and then it will be my turn." I picked him up at his friend's house and he showed me his sun-print. I could see that he had been lost in play.
As we get ready for homeschooling, I can see that I will be unable to go it alone. That he will need his friends. That Geoff and I will need other adults who know him and whose hearts break for him when he struggles and who jump to their feet when he succeeds. Let this be a lesson to me.
posted by Maria at
8:01 PM
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